36 Educational Tips From 70s and 80s TV
Television has always had its share of out-there plots, weird characters and completely unbelievable moments. I got to thinking, what would it be like if someone my age had never gone to school, but instead had been raised by watching TV. Here are a few of the ways he might believe the world works.
36. I learned that it is possible to fire millions of rounds of ammo and throw several thousand grenades over the course of several years and never actually hit anybody with a bullet or wound anyone with flying shrapnel.
35. I learned that it is possible to afford said ammo and grenades without holding down a regular job and without charging half of the people who hire you for your mercenary services because they are too poor to pay you for it.
34. I learned that if you are a bad guy it is never a good idea to lock the A-Team into a garage well stocked with sheet metal and acetylene torches.
33. I learned that you can turn your regular old cargo van into an assault van (non-lethal, of course) with a ceiling fan, some plywood and a couple of wood screws.
32. I learned that being certifiably insane doesnâ€™t necessarily preclude you from getting a helicopter pilotâ€™s license.
31. I learned that large, scary men who are afraid of flying can be easily (and repeatedly) tricked into drinking drugged milk so that you can get them on an airplane.
30. I learned that guns donâ€™t solve anything, but that highly explosive bombs made out of light bulbs, duct tape and various household cleaners do.
29. I learned that Richard Dean Anderson is about the only person in the world who looks cool wearing a mullet.
28. I learned that being an environmental activist and driving a gas-guzzling Jeep are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
The Dukes of Hazzard
27. I learned that hot women in short shorts can make boys as young as 6 feel a little funny in their nether regions.
26. I learned that Deputy Enosâ€™ parents hated him. Why else would they have named him Enos?
25. I learned that mayoral corruption is a lucrative business as evidenced by the vast number of squad cars Boss Hogg had to buy over the years.
24. I learned that they make really heavy duty shock absorbers and car frames down in Hazzard County for every vehicle except police cars.
23. I learned that Uncle Jesse must have had a ton of brothers seeing as how Bo, Luke, Daisy and the two guys who filled in for Bo and Luke for awhile were all cousins to each other, none of them were Uncle Jesseâ€™s kids and all of them had the last name of Duke.
22. I learned that apparently, all of Uncle Jesseâ€™s brothers (and their wives) were either short-lived or they (and their wives) were deadbeat parents because none of them ever made an appearance in Hazzard County.
21. I learned that distilling and smuggling moonshine is a good, clean way to bond with your relatives.
20. I learned that it is socially acceptable for a straight man to wear eye makeup as long as he drives a talking Trans Am.
19. I learned that if you ever own a talking car, never buy one with a British accent because no matter what it says it will always sound condescending.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
18. I learned that in the future no one will ever need to use the bathroom.
17. I learned that at some point between the time of Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Jean Luc Picard the Klingons experienced some sort of horrible accident which caused their entire race to develop large ridges in their noses and foreheads.
16. I learned that it is never a good idea to jump a shark on waterskis, even if you are wearing a leather jacket at the time. Itâ€™s not about safety people, itâ€™s about ludicrousness.
15. I learned that it isnâ€™t creepy at all (or illegal for that matter) for a man in his thirties to have sex with numerous high school girls as long as he is able to start up a jukebox by snapping his fingers.
14. I learned that Mr. Miyagiâ€™s first name is actually Arnold and that before he taught martial arts to a certain baby-faced 30-year old who still lived with his mother, he was a restaurant owner/short-order cook.
13. I learned that it is possible for a man to effectively fight crime while wearing extremely small (some might say testicle-endangeringly small) shorts, flip-flops and a baseball cap.
12. I learned that it is possible to have a mustache and leave your shirt unbuttoned to the navel, exposing your hairy chest in all its Selleck-y glory and not look like a washed up, 70â€™s era porno actor.
The Cosby Show
11. I learned that if you make enough money, you can wear whatever ugly sweaters you want to without being mocked by anyone.
10. I learned that it is possible for previously unmentioned Huxtable children to suddenly show up after several seasons without any kind of credible explanation of where theyâ€™ve been nor any indication of some kind of past family squabbles that would have kept them away for so long.
9. I learned that it is possible, though rare, for really young sitcom children to be funny and cute without crossing over into sickly sweet and annoyingâ€¦although that got screwed up when they brought Raven-Symone onto the show.
8. I learned that hilarity will ensue if you have dangerously high cholesterol, but you ignore it and frequently sneak massive hoagies and potato chips when your wife isnâ€™t around.
Little House On The Prairie
7. I learned what the word â€œbastardâ€ means. Absolutely true story: Having heard â€œbastardâ€ used on â€œLittle House On The Prairieâ€ I figured it wasnâ€™t a bad word so I jokingly called my little brother that at the dinner table in front of my mother and she almost fainted. When she had composed herself she grilled me about where I had heard that word and then explained to me what it meant. Darn you Michael Landon for getting me in trouble and making me learn something in the process!
6. I learned that I should avoid any and all blonde girls named Nellie, as well as their mothers.
5. I learned that, over time, Half-Pints can eventually grow into Gallon Jugs. Giggidy.
4. I learned that it is possible to sit at the end of a bar for ten years while drinking copious amounts of beer and never have to pay your tab. [JFrater would like anyone who knows where this bar really exists to email him the street address]
3. I learned that owning/operating a bar is the best thing a recovering alcoholic can do on his road to sobriety.
2. I learned that Woody probably wasnâ€™t as dumb as he seemed; he was just stoned out of his mind most of the time.
1. I learned that leaving one of the all-time greatest, most popular and most critically acclaimed sitcoms in television history to star in â€œTroop Beverly Hillsâ€ is not the smartest of career moves.
Best Clubs in the World to Party In
Fancy a night out that could change your life? Want to lose your inhibitions, push the boundaries and experience something new or exciting? There are some clubs in the world that take evening entertainment to a whole other level and bring an excitement not usually found in clubs. Check out these beauties and prepare for a mind blowing experience.
The box is full of surprises. There is very little sign on approach the box contains an evening of delight and fantasy that has never been done before in london. Itâ€™s a journey into the unknown so be prepared for any eventuality. Expect to be entertained and titilated like you have never been before. It is the lovechild of a circus and a burlesque club. There are always entertainers amongst the crowd, ready to amaze and surprise. Often some nudity creeps in but itâ€™s all in the name of fun. Itâ€™s a good idea to leave closed minds and inhibitions at the door, as the world of the box is unlike any mortal place that you have been before. It certainly is a walk on the wild side.
Want to head for a well established, beautiful yet surreal venue, usually packed to the rafters with the A list crowd? Well, the obvious choice would be Funky Buddha. It holds reign in the heart of Piccadilly, attracting the good and the beautiful from around London and the world. Funky Buddha is a world that is very luxurious and creative. The theme of the club merges the far east, Buddhism, cool beats and food that will melt in your mouth. It makes for a wild night on in London. Check out the waterfall, the cool seating areas and the music. This club has sisters around the globe because the format is unbeatable.
Los Angeles can be a dull affair when you are seeking out a night to remember. Bar licences can really put a damper upon the proceedings, as well as jaded music and pretentious spaces. Avalon has been LAâ€™s superclub for 90 years. Yes, you read that right – 90 years. It has kept the happy people of LA entertained for almost a century for some pretty impressive reasons. Firstly, the bar has the golden alcohol licence, it is open for 24 hours a day. This means that whatever your body clock demands, there is a great party going on in the club. Great music is what makes a wild night out Â possible. Imagine having crazy fun without the beats that will get your group moving. Well, how about a club that has had resident DJs such as Sacha? It speaks volumes that the club has nurtured the super stars of club DJs and has a history of looking after the most talented on the circuit. Then there is the venue. It isnâ€™t the slick, shiny venue you might hope for but a cavern-like old theatre with tonnes of atmosphere and character. Want to have an amazing night/morning with friends and listen to some classy music? Avalon has all the potential for a wild night out.
There is a place in Sydney that has the ingredients for an unforgettable night. Tokyo Sing Song has entertainers that will amuse and freak you out, dancers of the type that you have never seen before and music that will make you both laugh and cry. Every weekend is shrouded in mystery. No two are alike or even remotely predictable. there are drag queens, karaoke disasters, comedy to make you cry, wild dancing and some very unusual outfits on parade. this is a place to attend when you are ready to go wild. Enjoy this one off experience.
Put down the donuts and pick up an apple
Did we ever think the day would arrive when Homer Simpson would be taking the blame for society’s poor lifestyle choices?
Well that day is upon us friends, sad as that may seem.
Hypnotherapist Miller has written to The Simpsons creator Matt Groening to urge him to make Homer â€œput down the donuts and pick up an apple.
Miller believes that Homers unhealthy lifestyle and penchant for Duff beer and junk food is sending out a dangerous message to fans of the popular show.
Of course, we all believe our favourite Simpsons character to be genuine role models â€“ only a fool would think otherwise…Dâ€™oh!
Homerâ€™s insightful outlook on life makes him a terrific source of advice…
Homerâ€™s take on life
Homer has been a part of our lives for so long, we sometimes forget heâ€™s there.
Loveably enduring, the magic of The Simpsonâ€™s means that while everything around us changes rapidly, Homer stays just the same.
Who can forget his simplistic explanation to Lisa on how gambling enhances the good things in life?
Homer: You like ice cream, don’t you?
Homer: And do you like it even better when it has hot fudge, caramel, whipped cream, cherries, chocolate chips, and crumbled-up cookie things. Mmmmm…. crumbled-up cookie things.
Lisa: So gambling makes a good thing even better.
Homer: Yes, it is like there is some kind of bond between us.
The magic of Homer J Simpson!
No doubt Homer would approve of the casino bonuses and no deposit bonuses available at http://www.bonusmob.com.
Experts like Miller will insist we check out the Responsible Gambling section at the bottom of the page before starting!
The genius that gave Homer Simpson to the world, Mr Matt Groening. After almost 25 years on our screens, it seems a bit late to blame Homer for poor lifestyles now!
Famous Homer Simpson Quotes â€“ the legend that is Homer has given us some pearls of wisdom through the years. Here are some of our favourites.
- â€œI’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.â€
- â€œKids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.â€
- â€œBart, with $10,000, weâ€™d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things likeâ€¦love!â€
- â€œFacts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.â€
Homer the global icon
Incredibly, it seems Miller is genuine in his belief that Homerâ€™s carefree lifestyle and attitude towards food and drink is setting a bad example to the world at large.
“Homer is one of the most iconic faces in the entire world and is loved by everyone and thatâ€™s why itâ€™s a massive concern,” he went on.
â€œHomerâ€™s indulgent habits make it seem like being fat is okayâ€¦Being fat isnâ€™t good, there are many health risks and negative effectives attached to it.â€
As Homer himself would doubtless point out, Miller seems to have confused â€˜real-ityâ€™ with â€˜car-toonsâ€™.
How to prepare for a psychic reading
How to prepare for a psychic reading
Psychic readings are becoming commonplace these days, especially now that so many psychics make themselves available for online readings. You can easily find a psychic to do your reading for you at a site like Psychic Living. The good thing about choosing an association website like this is that each of the psychics on the site will have been scrutinised before being allowed to advertise on the site. Youâ€™ll also find a range of different psychics including angel and tarot readers, mediums and clairvoyants.
For many people, a psychic reading will be something new and you may be wondering what you need to do to get ready for it. In short, thereâ€™s not a lot thatâ€™s required of you, but it helps to have an idea of what to expect and how to prepare.
1. Write down your questions. Itâ€™s easy to go off topic when you have a reading, and if you have certain issues you are really keen to discuss, itâ€™s best to tick them off a list as you cover them. That way, you donâ€™t forget anything important. Donâ€™t be afraid to be specific. The more detailed you can be, the easier it will be for a psychic to help tune into your concerns.
2. Take time to be calm. Take a few minutes before your appointment to be quiet and reflective. Donâ€™t rush around doing chores right up to the last moment as youâ€™ll be less open to the reading and what you might gain from it. Try and empty your mind of clutter about day to day life, so you can focus on the reading.
3. Limit distractions. In the same vein, make sure that youâ€™re not going to be disturbed during the reading â€“ by other people in the house, by the phone or doorbell. Turn off other electrical equipment and close down other windows and programmes on your computer.
By making these simple preparations, you should get the most benefit out of a psychic reading. Youâ€™ll be ready to listen to the insights that a psychic can offer you and you should come away from the reading with a clearer understanding of your current life situation and the path you are travelling on.
The Coolest Casinos in the World
The Coolest Casinos in the World
There are many unique casinos scattered across the globe that can make excellent tourist destinations. One of the coolest casinos in the world is located in an unexpected place, Germany. The Baden-Baden Casino has become synonymous with world class gambling. The Baden-Baden is distinctive for its opulent dÃ©cor. In fact, it has a rather luxurious French air to it with red carpet, gold moulding and sparkling crystal chandeliers. Many visitors to the Baden-Baden feel like royalty when visiting the casino. The casino also offers some of the best gambling with promising odds.
Many casino gamblers find that for day to day play, online casinos such as http://www.jackpotcity.co.uk/mobile-casino/iphone/ provide the best option. These casinos can be easily accessed from home as well as from many mobile devices. Therefore, it is quite convenient to play when the fancy strikes. Online casinos never close which make them suitable to fit into any schedule. While playing at an online casino can fulfill day to day purposes, sometimes gamblers want to get away from it all while enjoying some of the finest gambling in the world.
World travelers can also find one of the top casinos in Kazakhstan, another unlikely location. Here, the Casino Zodiac has fast become a draw for gamblers from across the globe. Like the Baden-Baden, many visitors cite the ambience of the facility for its success.
Another one of the coolest casinos in the world isnâ€™t far from Germany; in fact it is located right in the heart of London. The Empire is the largest casino in the capitol. Well known games such as blackjack, punto banco and roulette can be found here. The Empire provides an extensive amount of tables and machines to accommodate their large patronage. One thing for which the Empire is known is its top of the line cuisine.
Poltergeist Possibility or Plumbing Problems?
Poltergeist Possibility or Plumbing Problems?
People react differently when they hear strange bumps in the night. They either believe that they are imagining things or something bigger may be going on. For some, it is thought that ghosts are making these odd sounds. Theories have swarmed from city to city and country to country, but nevertheless prompted many to call in the real-life ghostbusters.
SyFy Channelâ€™s â€œGhost Huntersâ€ is a show with well-renowned paranormal experts who have been trained by the best of the best. Â â€œOdd noises are rarely caused by other worldly things,â€ said Ghost Hunter Jason Hawes. â€œMost of the time, these unexplained, strange noises are actually a sign of plumbing problems that can, in most instances, be easily fixed.â€Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson were taught how to work on fixtures by the #1 plumbing and drain service, Roto-Rooter. A decade later, Hawes and Wilson brought their talents onto the television screen and attracted the masses.
Thanks to Roto-Rooter, many of the once unexplainable have become easily crystal clear. Something simple such as a loose or eroded pipe can interestingly cause weird sounds and cause the homeowner to become suspicious.Â Roto Rooter Fall Plumbing Tips can be utilized in case of trouble and can be found on their website www.Roto-Rooter.com.
CIA Spy Tricks
CIA Spy Tricks
For decades, rumors of top-secret “magic” manuals swirled within CIA circles.
The long-lost guides were said to have been written by a prominent magician, but many officers dismissed them as myth, believing them too fantastical to be true.
But in 2007, retired CIA officer Robert Wallace unearthed an extraordinary archived file and is now making its contents available to the public for the first time.
The file contained once highly-classified manuals written in the early 1950s by American magician John Mulholland that detailed the secrets of magic that could enhance the art of espionage.
It was thought that every copy of his reports had been destroyed in 1973.
But Wallace obtained surviving copies and, with intelligence historian H. Keith Melton, combined the two manuals — one examining sleight of hand techniques and the other on covert signaling — into one book, recently released by publisher HarperCollins.
Complete with illustrations, “The Official C.I.A. Manual of Trickery and Deception” describes a wide range of Mulholland’s Houdini-like tricks designed to help spies pull off a number of clandestine operations, such as slipping poison into an enemy’s drink or surreptitiously removing documents.
Other magician-historians previously established Mulholland’s connection to the CIA and printed portions of his reports â€“ and one, Michael Edwards, said he received full copies of the reports from the CIA in 2003. But the authors say their book is the first to publish the historical documents in their entirety.